Feb 1: Gen 1-3
Feb 2: Gen 4-7
Feb 3: Gen 8-11
Feb 4: Job 1-5
Feb 5: Job 6-9
Feb 6: Job 10-13
Feb 7: Job 14-16
Feb 8: Job 17-20
Feb 9: Job 21-23
Feb 10: Job 24-28
Feb 11: Job 29-31
Feb 12: Job 32-34
Feb 13: Job 35-37
Feb 14: Job 38-39
Feb 15: Job 40-42
Feb 16: Gen 12-15
Feb 17: Gen 16-18
Feb 18: Gen 19-21
Feb 19: Gen 22-24
Feb 20: Gen 25-26
Feb 21: Gen 27-29
Feb 22: Gen 30-31
Feb 23: Gen 32-34
Feb 24: Gen 35-37
Feb 25: Gen 38-40
Feb 26: Gen 41-42
Feb 27: Gen 43-45
Feb 28/29: Gen 46-47
Mar 1: Gen 48-50
Mar 2: Ex 1-3
Mar 3: Ex 4-6
Mar 4: Ex 7-9
Mar 5: Ex 10-12
Mar 6: Ex 13-15
Mar 7: Ex 16-18
Mar 8: Ex 19-21
Mar 9: Ex 22-24
Mar 10: Ex 25-27
Mar 11: Ex 28-29
Mar 12: Ex 30-32
Mar 13: Ex 33-35
Mar 14: Ex 36-38
Mar 15: Ex 39-40
Mar 16: Lev 1-4
Mar 17: Lev 5-7
Mar 18: Lev 8-10
Mar 19: Lev 11-13
Mar 20: Lev 14-15
Mar 21: Lev 16-18
Mar 22: Lev 19-21
Mar 23: Lev 22-23
Mar 24: Lev 24-25
Mar 25: Lev 26-27
Mar 26: Num 1-2
Mar 27: Num 3-4
Mar 28: Num 5-6
Mar 29: Num 7
Mar 30: Num 8-10
Mar 31: Num 11-13
Apr 1: Num 14-15; Ps 90
Apr 2: Num 16-17
Apr 3: Num 18-20
Apr 4: Num 21-22
Apr 5: Num 23-25
Apr 6: Num 26-27
Apr 7: Num 28-30
Apr 8: Num 31-32
Apr 9: Num 33-34
Apr 10: Num 35-36
Apr 11: Deut 1-2
Apr 12: Deut 3-4
Apr 13: Deut 5-7
Apr 14: Deut 8-10
Apr 15: Deut 11-13
Apr 16: Deut 14-16
Apr 17: Deut 17-20
Apr 18: Deut 21-23
Apr 19: Deut 24-27
Apr 20: Deut 28-29
Apr 21: Deut 30-31
Apr 22: Deut 32-34; Ps 91
Apr 23: Josh 1-4
Apr 24: Josh 5-8
Apr 25: Josh 9-11
Apr 26: Josh 12-15
Apr 27: Josh 16-18
Apr 28: Josh 19-21
Apr 29: Josh 22-24
Apr 30: Jud 1-2
May 1: Jud 3-5
May 2: Jud 6-7
May 3: Jud 8-9
May 4: Jud 10-12
May 5: Jud 13-15
May 6: Jud 16-18
May 7: Jud 19-21
May 8: Ruth
May 9: 1Sam 1-3
May 10: 1Sam 4-8
May 11: 1Sam 9-12
May 12: 1Sam 13-14
May 13: 1Sam 15-17
May 14: 1Sam 18-20; Ps 11/59
May 15: 1Sam 21-24
May 16: Ps 7/27/31/34/52
May 17: Ps 56/120/140-142
May 18: 1Sam 25-27
May 19: Ps 17/35/54/63
May 20: 1Sam 28-31; Ps18
May 21: Ps 121/123-125/128-130
May 22: 2Sam 1-4
May 23: Ps 6/8-10/14/16/19/21
May 24: 1Chron 1-2
May 25: Ps 43-45/49/84-85/87
May 26: 1Chron 3-5
May 27: Ps 73/77-78
May 28: 1Chron 6
May 29: Ps 81/88/92-93
May 30: 1Chron 7-10
May 31: Ps 102-104
Jun 1: 2Sam 5:1-10; 1Chron 11-12
Jun 2: Ps 133 Jun 3: Ps 106-107
Jun 4: 2Sam 5:11-6:23; 1Chron 13-16
Jun 5: Ps 1-2/15/22-24/47/68
Jun 6: Ps 89/96/100-101/105/132
Jun 7: 2Sam 7; 1Chron 17
Jun 8: Ps 25/29/33/36/39
Jun 9: 2Sam 8-9; 1Chron 18
Jun 10: Ps 50/53/60/75
Jun 11: 2Sam10; 1Chron 19; Ps 20
Jun 12: Ps 65-67/69-70
Jun 13: 2Sam 11-12; 1Chron 20
Jun 14: Ps 32/51/86/122
Jun 15: 2Sam 13-15
Jun 16: Ps 3-4/12-13/28/55
Jun 17: 2Sam 16-18
Jun 18: Ps 26/40/58/61-62/64
Jun 19: 2Sam 19-21
Jun 20: Ps 5/38/41-42
Jun 21: 2Sam 22-23; Ps 57
Jun 22: Ps 95/97-99
Jun 23: 2Sam 24; 1Chron 21-22; Ps 30
Jun 24: Ps 108-110
Jun 25: 1Chron 23-25
Jun 26: Ps 131/138-139/143-145
Jun 27: 1Chron 26-29; Ps 127
Jun 28: Ps 111-118
Jun 29: 1King 1-2; Ps 37/71/94
Jun 30: Ps 119:1-88
Jul 1: 1King 3-4; 2Chron 1; Ps 72
Jul 2: Ps 119:89-176
Jul 3: Solomon
Jul 4: Prov 1-3
Jul 5: Prov 4-6
Jul 6: Prov 7-9
Jul 7: Prov 10-12
Jul 8: Prov 13-15
Jul 9: Prov 16-18
Jul 10: Prov 19-21
Jul 11: Prov 22-24
Jul 12: 1King 5-6; 2Chron 2-3
Jul 13: 1King 7; 2Chron 4
Jul 14: 1King 8; 2Chron 5
Jul 15: 2Chron 6-7; Ps 136
Jul 16: Ps 134/146-150
Jul 17: 1King 9; 2Chron 8
Jul 18: Prov 25-26
Jul 19: Prov 27-29
Jul 20: Ecc 1-6
Jul 21: Ecc 7-12
Jul 22: 1King 10-11; 2Chron 9
Jul 23: Prov 30-31
Jul 24: 1King 12-14
Jul 25: 2Chron 10-12
Jul 26: 1King 15:1-24; 2Chron 13-16
Jul 27: 1King 15:25-16:34; 2Chron 17
Jul 28: 1King 17-19
Jul 29: 1King 20-21
Jul 30: 1King 22; 2Chron 18
Jul 31: 2Chron 19-23
Aug 1: Oba; Ps 82-83
Aug 2: 2King 1-4
Aug 3: 2King 5-8
Aug 4: 2King 9-11
Aug 5: 2King 12-13; 2Chron 24
Aug 6: 2King 14; 2Chron 25
Aug 7: Jonah
Aug 8: 2King 15; 2Chron 26
Aug 9: Is 1-4
Aug 10: Is 5-8
Aug 11: Amos 1-5
Aug 12: Amos 6-9
Aug 13: 2Chron 27; Is 9-12
Aug 14: Micah
Aug 15: 2Chron 28; 2King 16-17
Aug 16: Is 13-17
Aug 17: Is 18-22
Aug 18: Is 23-27
Aug 19: 2King 18:1-8; 2Chron 29-31; Ps 48
Aug 20: Hos 1-7
Aug 21: Hos 8-14
Aug 22: Is 28-30
Aug 23: Is 31-34
Aug 24: Is 35-36
Aug 25: Is 37-39; Ps 76
Aug 26: Is 40-43
Aug 27: Is 44-48
Aug 28: 2King 18:9-19:37; Ps 46/80/135
Aug 29: Is 49-53
Aug 30: Is 54-58
Aug 31: Is 59-63
Sep 1: Is 64-66
Sep 2: 2King 20-21
Sep 3: 2Chron 32-33
Sep 4: Nahum
Sep 5: 2King 22-23; 2Chron 34-35
Sep 6: Zephaniah
Sep 7: Jer 1-3
Sep 8: Jer 4-6
Sep 9: Jer 7-9
Sep 10: Jer 10-13
Sep 11: Jer 14-17
Sep 12: Jer 18-22
Sep 13: Jer 23-25
Sep 14: Jer 26-29
Sep 15: Jer 30-31
Sep 16: Jer 32-34
Sep 17: Jer 35-37
Sep 18: Jer 38-40; Ps 74/79
Sep 19: 2King 24-25; 2Chron 36
Sep 20: Habakkuk
Sep 21: Jer 41-45
Sep 22: Jer 46-48
Sep 23: Jer 49-50
Sep 24: Jer 51-52
Sep 25: Lam 1:1-3:36
Sep 26: Lam 3:37-5:22
Sep 27: Ezek 1-4
Sep 28: Ezek 5-8
Sep 29: Ezek 9-12
Sep 30: Ezek 13-15
Oct 1: Ezek 16-17
Oct 2: Ezek 18-19 Oct 3: Ezek 20-21
Oct 4: Ezek 22-23
Oct 5: Ezek 24-27
Oct 6: Ezek 28-31
Oct 7: Ezek 32-34
Oct 8: Ezek 35-37
Oct 9: Ezek 38-39
Oct 10: Ezek 40-41
Oct 11: Ezek 42-43
Oct 12: Ezek 44-45
Oct 13: Ezek 46-48
Oct 14: Joel
Oct 15: Dan 1-3
Oct 16: Dan 4-6
Oct 17: Dan 7-9
Oct 18: Dan 10-12
Oct 19: Ezra 1-3
Oct 20: Ezra 4-6; Ps 137
Oct 21: Haggai
Oct 22: Zech 1-7
Oct 23: Zech 8-14
Oct 24: Est 1-5
Oct 25: Est 6-10
Oct 26: Ezra 7-10
Oct 27: Neh 1-5
Oct 28: Neh 6-7
Oct 29: Neh 8-10
Oct 30: Neh 11-13; Ps 126
Oct 31: Malachi
Nov 1: Luke 1; John 1:1-14
Nov 2: Matt 1; Luke 2:1-38
Nov 3: Matt 2; Luke 2:39-52
Nov 4: Matt 3; Mark 1; Luke 3
Nov 5: Matt 4; Luke 4-5; John 1:15-51
Nov 6: John 2-4
Nov 7: Mark 2
Nov 8: John 5
Nov 9: Matt 12:1-21; Mark 3; Luke 6
Nov 10: Matt 5-7
Nov 11: Matt 8:1-13; Luke 7
Nov 12: Matt 11
Nov 13: Matt 12:22-50
Nov 14: Matt 13; Luke 8
Nov 15: Matt 8:14-34; Mark 4-5
Nov 16: Matt 9-10
Nov 17: Matt 14; Mark 6; Luke 9:1-17
Nov 18: John 6
Nov 19: Matt 15; Mark 7
Nov 20: Matt 16; Mark 8; Luke 9:18-27
Nov 21: Matt 17; Mark 9; Luke 9:28-62
Nov 22: Matt 18
Nov 23: John 7-8
Nov 24: John 9:1-10:21
Nov 25: Luke 10-11; John 10:22-42
Nov 26: Luke 12-13
Nov 27: Luke 14-15
Nov 28: Luke 16-17:10
Nov 29: John 11
Nov 30: Luke 17:11-18:14
Dec 1: Matt 19; Mark 10
Dec 2: Matt 20-21
Dec 3: Luke 18:15-19:48
Dec 4: Mark 11; John 12
Dec 5: Matt 22; Mark 12
Dec 6: Matt 23; Luke 20-21
Dec 7: Mark 13
Dec 8: Matt 24
Dec 9: Matt 25
Dec 10: Matt 26; Mark 14
Dec 11: Luke 22; John 13
Dec 12: John 14-17
Dec 13: Matt 27; Mark 15
Dec 14: Luke 23; John 18-19
Dec 15: Matt 28; Mark 16
Dec 16: Luke 24; John 20-21
Dec 17: Acts 1-3
Dec 18: Acts 4-6
Dec 19: Acts 7-8
Dec 20: Acts 9-10
Dec 21: Acts 11-12
Dec 22: Acts 13-14
Dec 23: James
Dec 24: Acts 15-16
Dec 25: Gal 1-3
Dec 26: Gal 4-6
Dec 27: Acts 17-18:18
Dec 28: 1/2Thess
Dec 29: Acts 18:19-19:41
Dec 30: 1Cor 1-4
Dec 31: 1Cor 5-8
Jan 1: 1Cor 9-11
Jan 2: 1Cor 12-14
Jan 3: 1Cor 15-16
Jan 4: 2Cor 1-4
Jan 5: 2Cor 5-9
Jan 6: 2Cor 10-13
Jan 7: Acts 20:1-3; Rom 1-3
Jan 8: Rom 4-7
Jan 9: Rom 8-10
Jan 10: Rom 11-13
Jan 11: Rom 14-16
Jan 12: Acts 20:4-23:35
Jan 13: Acts 24-26
Jan 14: Acts 27-28
Jan 15: Colossians; Philemon
Jan 16: Ephesians
Jan 17: Philippians
Jan 18: 1 Timothy
Jan 19: Titus
Jan 20: 1 Peter
Jan 21: Heb 1-6
Jan 22: Heb 7-10
Jan 23: Heb 11-13
Jan 24: 2 Timothy
Jan 25: 2 Peter; Jude
Jan 26: 1 John
Jan 27: 2/3 John
Jan 28: Rev 1-5
Jan 29: Rev 6-11
Jan 30: Rev 12-18
Jan 31: Rev 19-22

Okay, reality. Stop knocking at my door. Leave me be. v.v
Predictably, Preston and I made up. Who saw that one coming, right!? ._. Shelby no gusta. I'm tired of his crap with girls. He's an amazing guy, but when it comes to girls, he's the biggest jerk I know. It's annoying. I'm tired of hearing about Kelly. (who by the way hates me for NO REASON AT ALL.) The whole situation is just upsetting. Kelly just got done dating a CHICK. Not that I'm a homophobe, because I'm not, but if Preston wants to be a super-Christian then he might want to have a straight girlfriend. Just saying. And also, he wonders why Gabby doesn't like him. Hmm. I wonder.
Rant end.
Madison is a far-off dream. Somebody like him would never date someone like me. And I absolutely cannot blame him. Still, though. I mean.. he did say I was beautiful the other day. But not like that. more like.. "Hey do I have marker on my face? I fell asleep in Geography." "Nope you look beautiful". Friendly. Which he is to me. But nothing more. So, really I just need to give up. Ohh welll. Use to it.
So what did you do this weekend Shelby?
Well, I'll tell you.
I went to the Basement with Joshie I think.. last weekend. I don't remember. Pretty unremarkable except that I saw a guy standing funnily and snapped a picture.

Hurr.
Me and Gabby checked out early from school Friday to go to a LC pep rally. Some guy named Cowboy Troy was there. I guess he was supposed to be important. I saw everyone and their brother.

-------

-------

Scenic Fayetteville square, impressive, I know.
Me and father went to go see 'Arthur and the Magic Sword', which failed to meet my expectations, but it was ok because he took me to Olive Garden.
Then yesterday Father took me a Tristan to go see a movie named Courageous.... Holy heifer. We were all bawling. So intense.<3
I guess that's about all I have to say.. v.v Wish I had some good news. Maybe there will be tommorrow.

Wow, why have I not written?! So much crap has happened. xD
I spent the entire week with Gabby and Kate. Mostly Gabby. And she told me something that meant a lot to me because I'm kind of self-consious about it. She said she felt closer to me than she did to Kate. I know that sounds petty. But I sort of always felt like I play second fiddle, even if I don't. Iunno, a teenage thing I guess. It felt good. I love Kate and Gabby so freaking much.


Brantley suprise visited and was all up in my grill flirting with me the whole time. I.. actually felt a little for him. Hormones purely. But he's just freaking charming, okay?! xD I didn't act upon my feelings, so don't worry.
I'm absolutely at my freaking limit with Preston. We've argued non-stop for the past 3 days because he has a new girlfriend. Kelly. Hey, if he wants to be a chubby-chaser, fine by me, go right on ahead. But I thought God wanted him to be single? Apparently not. Also, now he tells me that KATIE of all freaking people is his best friend apparently too. He's brung me to tears too many times. Heck, I'm in tears as I type this because he just hurts my feelings so bad. God it hurts. I haven't felt this bad in a long time. All I want is to feel okay again. I had such a good day until I got home and had to argue with him. I'll post a few of the latest messages, but there are too freaking many to post them all. I wish I could make him stop.

P:Why can't you just be happy in the fact that i love and can't replace you why do you have to get bent out of shape cause i have 2 bestfriends am i only supposed to have 1?

M:Im not bent out of shape because you have 2 im bent out of shape because you told me i was the only one.

P:I spent this week thinking about how you both mean alot to me i couldnt live without you or her i'm sorry your upset

M:leave me alone i really can't handle any freaking more of your bombs!

P:Shelby what the heck?!

M:You have hurt me so many freaking times this past month! i cant handle any more so please, for the sake of us both let me cool down before you tell me anything else that will break my heart!

P:Shelby...don't please i beg you

M:Leave. me. alone. i have enoug to deal with without you crushing me every other day! im dumping you. let me date this other chick. also, your position as best friend isnt only yours anymore. im literally at my limit. im a tolerant person, but i am at my freaking limit with this.

P:You're the person who's ever been there for me the only 1 who can suffer through my mistakes the only person who won't judge me for my mistakes nothing could replace you in my life honestly i look up to you i want to be as strong as you i love you...i'm sorry i'll go.

I want to end this on a happy note, but my happy is quickly running out. I really like Madison. I hope he doesn't like Gabby. We talk a lot, and he often starts the conversation. But God with my luck even that tiny hope will be crushed soon enough.



Familiar breath of my old lies
Changed the color in my eyes
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me

Left alone with only reflections of the memory
To face the ugly girl that's smothering me
Sitting closer than my pain
He knew each tear before it came
Soon He will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by

Joy will come

Well there are two big topics to be covered in this journal. Cody again, and Lexington. We'll start with the happy one, Lexington. xD
Lexington was AMAZING. I had such a good time. We saw all the sights, and we didn't fight once. A record. xD
We started out with Olive Garden as soon as we got there (after a 5 hour drive xD). And it was wonderful. I freaking love Olive Garden. Then we went to a 'suprise' destination that I already knew about. ;) Which didn't make it any less wonderful. It was the UK Art Museum. <3 It really inspired me to get off my rear and work on my art again. There were some truly amazing artworks in there. My favorites are the ones that have a real meaning behind them that's detectable for the viewer. That's the kind of art I enjoy. After that, I got my first mani-pedi! :D And it was great! Although the women at Number 1 Nails don't really speak English. It was confusing and humiliating, but in the end it was worth it. Then I went to bed on a nice comfy air mattress. The end of Day 1.
Day 2 was slightly less amazing, but it was still pretty great. We went to an exhibit called Bodies Revealed. It was mind-blowing. They had just about every body part you can think of, and then a cancerous version of it. Amazing!! My favorite (and the most sad) were the fetuses. They had one of just about every stage. The bones were dyed red so you could see them developing. I absolutely do not care what anyone says, those were human beings. After only 6 weeks you could already distinguish it's different parts. It made abortion even more disgusting for me. Then we went to the wedding of Ace and Andrea. Andrea is really nice. And hilarious. xD Especially when she's tipsy. The wedding itself was beautiful! I even almost cried, and I barely know them. But the reception was AWFULLL. There was no one there my age. So I sat on a barstool and watched everyone get drunker and drunker and drunker. xD It was funny. But at the time I was just mad that my dad was making us stay. We didn't even know anyone. Then we trotted around the mall for an hour. The end of Day 2.
Day 3 we met Ace, Andrea, their parents, and another couple whose names I can never remember at a breakfast place called Ramseys. Then went home. :B Yum. Pictures time!

(This is the lobby of the Art Museum. Impressive!!)

(A bench outside the Art Museum that really caught my fancy. xD)

(These next pictures are just me screwing around at the hotel)

(Under the stairwelll)

(Frankly. I just like this picture. xD)

(You can see the hotel in this one. We were walking to Number 1 Nails.)

(Mandatory deep mirror picture.)

(Father on the way to Number 1 Nails.)

(This is the place where Bodies Revealed was. We had quite a fun time trying to figure out what floor it was on.)

(My manicure! You can't really tell, but they're music notes. My phone takes awful pictures.)

(Me and Daddy at the hotel before the wedding.)

(The less glamorous side of Lexington. I loved the way the picture turned out.)

(Another picture I just like.)

(There are tons of shops like this in Lexington! Selling merch for the college. According to Ace, almost everyone in that town goes or has gone to that college. I believe it, because two thirds of the people were wearing UK gear.)
Daddy took some more cool pictures, mostly of the wedding. But I haven't gotten him to email them to me yet, so I'll post those whenever I get them. Sorry to whoever has to scroll through this journal!
Now about Cody. xD Lord. So Cody won't let me go. He messaged my FATHER on facebook. I won't claim that these are direct quotes, but he let me read them and this is what was said.
Cody: hi.
your daughter had some harsh words to say to me the other day.
My dad: I heard that you had some harsh words to say about her. Maybe yall should just not say anything at all if you can't say anything nice.
Cody:Man, I'd hate to say it, but your daughter is BS'n you.
Then he blocked my dad so he couldn't reply. xD But that isn't all.
I texted him today to see what he had to say for himself. This time he didn't plead ignorance. These are the messages that were sent. :B

Me: Cody. please. forr heaven's sake. i just saw what you said to my dad on facebook. for the love of God, get over it leave me alone, leave my family alone, and stop being INSANE. it's creepy that you're obsessed with me. and you didn't get me in trouble if that's what you were attempting to do. you just made my father more clearly see that you are insane and obsessed. leave me alone. that is all. xD

Cody: Who is this.

M: oh how many people have you done this to that you'd have to actually guess who this is? how many people's fathers have you contacted? are you slow or something?

C: Oh its u. Dont text me.

M: Yeah it's me. believe me, i don't want to text you. but listen, leave me alone. you're getting very creepy now. i think you just lack social skills, but enough's enough. if you want to hate me for nothing, that's absolutely fine, i genuinely couldn't care less. but please leave me alone about. i never understood why you hated me in the first place. also, stop claiming to be a christian while you're off trashing people behind their backs. you're giving us a bad name.

C: Shelby.. Do not text me back.

M: i want an apology.

C: Welp. U aren't getting one...

M: okay, then at least tell me why?

C: Cuz u dnt deserve one.

M: No, I mean why are you doing this? why did you tell katie those things? and why did you contact my dad?

C: Dont text back.

M: I'll text you whenever i please. tell me why.

C: Im at the dentist later.

M: No. because i know you won't. tell me now.

C: L8r.

M: if you don't tell me later, i'll just text you tommorrow. because i want to know how you justify your craziness and obsession.

C: Okay. Sorry, I was getting a spacer, now im sorry. LEAVE ME ALONE!! IVE GOT A BETTER LIFE TO LIVE. Without you.

M: Obviously not with your need to harass me :B now tell me why.

C: I said sorry, thats all I have to say.

M: If i hear about you saying my name one more time, i'm going to tell my dad to call the school because it's harassment and it shouldn't go unpunished. he wanted to the first time. goodbye.

C: Thank god! your off my damn back.

M: shut up cody, you started it xD

C: Shut your f***ing mouth b****. If you wouldnt have texted me, and left other ppls business alone, we would have been okay b****.

M: you're the one who messaged my dad on facebook sweetheart. let's not call names, that just makes you sound stupid. xD stop getting upset over what you did.

C: Goodbye. All i got to say.

Intense, I know. xD If it happens again, I'm seriously going to tell my dad to call the school. He needs to be punished for just being a jerk to me continuously for no reason. Annoying and frustrated for that little spoiled brat to be at my throat all the time. He slammed his head into my locker door the other day. And Gabby tripped him on the bus. Oh Gabby. xD

I could say something deep about how poverty or low self-esteem is my biggest bully in life, but I won't. This is because I don't let problems like that bother me often. Its people who get to me.Because who really grinds my gears are K.E., T.B., D.A., and most of all right now, C.J.

azkjshfsilfd.
Well today was really bittersweet.
Me and Madison talked a lot. Which is good. :D Because he's just so weird.. and attractive.. eee~
But. When me him and Kate were standing in line to get lunch he said something that bothers me to NO end. Well, not really to no end. Just a little. It should bother me more than it does, actually. I said something about Gabby and he said that he wants to talk to Gabby but he's too scared. But here's the reason it doesn't bother THAT bad. There was something weird about the way he said it. And the fact that he'd say it to me. I don't really know if he'd consider me a friend yet and you don't just go spurting things like that to anybody. Especially the best friend. There are two reasonable explanations for this.
1. He wants me to tell her so that he can get things started.
2. He wants me to be jealous.
All things considered, maybe #1 is more likely. But I don't care. I choose to believe #2 because he's just been so nice to me. I really like him journal. ._. Too much. It's dangerous. I know I don't have to worry about Gabby betraying me though, because that girl's amazing. She knows I like him and she'd NEVER act upon what he said because she knows that'd hurt my feelings. :3 I love her.
Hopefully (unless #2 is true) I'll get over this dumb crush by the end of fall break. I hope so.
I'm not going to tell Gabby what he said because I don't want for her to feel uncomfortable. :B Poor Gabby. She always feel so weird about my various misfortunes.
Yesterday was really bad though. Momma told me I was lucky she loved me, because I'm awful and that really hurt my feelings. And me and Preston got in a fight about nothing really. xD
Also, today I almost broke my foot. I bingoed off of a step. Figures. xD

Why other people at my age can't see how stupid they're being. ESPECIALLY with the drugs and the boys/girls. v.v They've had the same things drilled into their heads for years and years but apparently, it still hasn't gotten through to them that there are consequences for the stupid stuff you do. Its irks me and confuses me to no end. Oh well. They'll learn it the hard way.

So Gabby and I went to the fair Saturday. *I* had fun but.. she has a weak stomach. v.v Therefore I didn't get to ride any good rides. But oh well. My family was visiting. Matt, Christian, Jesse, and his girlfriend Rose. So very white trash. It made me feel shame for them to act like that in front of Gabby. Oh welll. xD
Nothing else interesting has happened except for Bizkit texted me saying he "missed my smile". Stupid. xD
Also, Madison's butt is perfect.

As a side note here, me and Preston are pretending as if nothing ever happened. Which in a way is good I guess. But at the same time it makes me think it meant nothing to him at all, then my feelings get hurt. ._. Sigh. But at least we're still best friends... Also, I feel nothing for him like that, so don't take it as me missing him because I honestly feel a little better.

guess what LJ.
MORE freaking bad things happening. Because I definately don't deserve a break..
In summery, Cody (the douche I dated for like a week at the beginning of the school year) was telling lies about me to (of all people) Katie. KATIE for crying out loud. Who in turn told Preston, who told me. I'll let these messages tell the graphic story that has taken place tonight.

What Started It All
from Katie to Preston to me-> "some guy was telling me that he broke up with shelby cause she was too nice, so shelby texted him saying "Iwant you back and I miss you" he said no cause he didn't wanna hurt her. She cussed him out and at school she pushed him and gave him the finger :)"

Me Telling Off Cody
me: Cody have you been telling things to people about me that aren't true?! >:l

him: No... Why?
Who is this?

me: its shelby >:l
you didnt say i texted you after we broke up saying i wanted you back? because i didnt. in fact i never texted you after that and CERTAINLY not because i wanted you back because i dont :l and as if that wasnt enough lying you went on to say i cussed you, pushed you, and gave you the finger?! what the crap man i've never said one word to you in anger before now. dont go around telling people things that aren't true cody. especially not about people who've never done you wrong in your life. do you have no freaking shame? ugh even people who dont like me know i would never do any of those things...

him: Huh?

me: Dont play stupid. you told katie those things and she told my best friend.

him: I honestly dont care. Lose this number ok? Ok.

me: ...how on freaking earth can you be so disgustingly apathetic?! God you're such a douchebag! never speak to me again, stay away from me, and don't you EVER put my name in your filthy lying mouth EVER again!

him: I didn't lie. And if you want to talk crap about me, go ahead. You honestly think I care.

me: IM the one talking crap cody? really? if so then your little friend katie must be one heck of a liar, and seeing as she has no incentive to lie about me, i'd say it's you

him: It is me. And Lose this number and NEVER text me back.

Stupid scoundrel. Ugh how I dislike him. Now he's telling Katie I'm denying it because I want to be viewed as "a sweet little girl". Please. God ALMIGHTY please. Although it's true most of my friends can't even picture me angry. Its pretty difficult for me to picture MYSELF angry, in fact. I don't usually act on a whim like that. It's EXTREMELY out of character for me. When I act, it's with a purpose. Of course, once Ido choose to act emotions flow, but no one's perfect. Plus, if I bottled that inside I'd be a freak of hatred and rage.But I'm not. So I'd say I'm fairly emotionally healthy.
Now I'm getting depressed about it though. Best explained in a message sent to Preston. I'm liking this message journaling. It's so raw and honest.

"i try so hard to be good and follow God and people perceive it as me trying to be "a sweet little girl"? because let me tell you something. after all i've been thourgh and all i go through on a DAILY basis, i don't deserve people doing this to me. especially people i've never said one cross word to before today. it's sickening."

And that's the whole honest truth. You can bet if it's sent to Preston, it's completely unfiltered. Just... just sigh.






If I'm a bad person, you don't like me
Well, I guess I'll make my own way
It's a circle, a mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore

Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well, sentence me to another life

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same

It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person but you can't take it

Ignorance- Paramore

Honorable mention this morning.
Gabby posted a status on facebook last night that said "Nobody messes with Shelby Lastname. Nobody." Hurr (: Many people liked it and it made me happy. I felt like I have support. Thank you Kelsi, father, Fluffy, and Brantley for liking it. xD The little things make me happy I suppose.
Anywho.
It's 9/11 today. I'm too young to remember it, but it still gets me all choked up to think about it. It's been 10 years since a whole new America surfaced. America's been at war since I can remember and I can't wait to see a wr-free America.. someday. :B
I feel a lot better today. I'm not sure why, but I just do. I'm very grateful for it. <3

18. Rainbow
Rainbows... Oh, how I love rainbows. <3 They symbolize hope for me.
I know rainbows tend to mean something other than hope these days, which means I have to keep fairly quiet about my love for them. :B
Ah, well.

Have you forgotten how it felt that day?
To see your homeland under fire
And her people blown away